Wednesday, August 30, 2017

intercourse, Splenda and savagery: Confessions from my time at fats camp

fats camp isn't only for weight loss — at the least mine wasn't. certain, we get weighed in once per week and most of the activities are exercise related, but there's extra to it than just getting healthy.

It's about hoarding Splenda beneath the dining room tables, selling WaWa sandwiches on the black market, piercing your bunkmate's ear in the bathing room, and getting laid.

One time, a counselor gave my pal a packet of peanut butter M&Ms and a field of pasta to cheer her up for not getting the place of colour battle popular. That day after lunch, we ran again to the cabin and boiled the pasta in a shaving bucket the usage of scorching bathe water. It tasted like sawdust and become pro with leg hair, but that didn't cease me from stuffing my face.

in case you feel fat camp is just a rehabilitation center for overweight children, guess again. listed here are probably the most craziest things that happened there:

Confessions of a fat camper

"I stole a lollipop out of my counselor's closet area as soon as and she or he caught me because I fell asleep with it in my mouth." — Lindsay, 22

"earlier than she received famous, girl and not using a Job become checking campers' packages for contraband. One summer season, my lady friend on the time sent me a package with a teddy endure. "No 16-year-historical is getting a stuffed animal," GWNJ pointed out. She ripped open the endure and three packets of bitter punch straws fell out. She saved them." — Kara, 22

"every time we go on container trips we ought to wear orange wristbands so the meals companies understand they can't sell us the rest. On our consult with to Camel beach, my best friend and that i escaped from our community and hid our bracelets so we might shove a cookie down our throats. I ate it so rapidly I couldn't even savor it, however the rush of adrenaline was worth it." — Stefie, 22

Note the wristbands

notice the wristbands

"lower back in the day they'd hand out peanut butter packets within the eating corridor. each person thinks we're a nut free camp now as a result of allergy symptoms, however really it's as a result of campers used to run an underground peanut butter black market." — Rachel, 24

"I busted a testicle when i was 12 as a result of somebody concept it'd be funny to punch me in the nuts. not one of the counselors did the rest about it." —Nick, 21

"When i used to be a camper my mom would send me laxatives if I didn't drop some pounds." — Kelsey, 20

"I used to alternate clothes with my bunkmate for bags of sweet and ritz bitz." — Ryan, 22

"The assistant head of camp caught me having sex in the golf shed on my final day of camp. i was so embarrassed." — Claudia, 19

"I sold flavored water to boys in my division for $5 a pop." — Tommy, 18

"all through film nighttime I snuck off into the personnel parking space with a girl. i was within the center of getting a blowjob when a automobile pulled up and flashed its lights on me, and i acquired chased down via a counselor." —Logan, 19

"I used to cover within the strangest, farthest places to get out of doing activities. I'd go to the public restroom subsequent to the pool or the eating hall bathroom. well-nigh, I hid within the loos when i used to be too lazy to do zumba."— Rachel, 24

Confessions of a fat camp counselor

"My nine-year-historic camper took a shit on the floor and that i had to clean it up. thrice." — Arielle, 22

"After each weigh in on Sunday I'd sneak into the kitchen and consume peanut butter and hot chocolate powder with Splenda mixed collectively." — Sarah, 25

"If my campers left their diaries open on their beds I'd examine them. sometimes they'd say shit like, 'if anyone reads this I'll kill you.'" —Kathryn, 22

"I constantly ordered marshmallows from Amazon and shipped them to myself for when I had to protect the bunk at evening. When any of my campers discovered I'd share with them, however handiest if they painted my nails." — Courtney, 24

"When i used to be 17, I gave my first blowjob on the song behind the huge barn. I wiggled his dick around in a circle and he noted, 'It's now not a joystick!' I had no thought what i used to be doing. His cum tasted so bad that I spat it on the song. tomorrow, I saw campers going for walks on it." — Jen, 25

"My co-counselor let a camper lick Cheetos filth off his fingers." — Josh, 23

"We had a star come to camp once. He changed into a contestant on The largest Loser. I adored him, and we made out in a automobile one night. seems he changed into married, and then he acquired kicked out of camp." —Sarah, 25

"I caught a camper making an attempt to sneak in sweet that she stuffed interior these tall boots she changed into wearing. fairly the rookie, no person wears boots in the summer." — Katrina, 22

"I by accident left a used condom within the zumba barn. thankfully, I acquired there earlier than the campers and threw it out, but I couldn't do the rest concerning the stain." — Rachel, 22

"The remaining night of camp I got inebriated with my premiere man friend and we each obtained to 2nd base for the primary time. He become taking too lengthy to conclude earlier than curfew, so I waited for him whereas he jacked off in the bathing room." —Hannah, 20

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